So sad so sad...my heart once again shedding tears

Alhamdullillah safely arrived in Jeddah. I feel like crying once again when I am now miles away from my family and friends. Do I love this job? Yes actually. It's not the job that I hate but the ppl..the colleagues. Bunch of hypocrite ppl that act hollier in front of u but behind u they talk bad about u. Here what u talk and whom do u talk to, u must be careful. Ppl can easily twisted ur words and spread the negative perception about u. It happens in every part of the world. Ppl are trying hard to look hollier by making others look sinful. It is wrenching my heart when my sister and brother in Islam are the one who backstabbing me. If they have problems with me why can't they meet me personally. I am more than happier to take advice from my friends. That shows u care about me. Unfortunately some ppl prefer to smear the good name of their own friends. So perhaps they will be getting praises and respect upon disgracing others. I am not here to please ppl. I am not good in pretending good. What u see on me is what is in me. I don't fake just to be loved and to earn respect from others. I can't control what ppl going to say about me. If they want to have a word with me I am wise enough to listen and learn from it. But pls don't simply say it based on nasty rumours. The person who is creating the rumours should have the gut to confront me but instead they chose not to and using their charming pretentious kindness to lure others to speak up for them. If my firm stance on my faith bothers u, then I would not apologise on that. U can act smart in whatever things u want, but don't try to act smart if u don't have the right knowledge when it comes to hukum hakam. Wrong is still wrong even when everyone does it. I can't compromise those things that against the Shariah. Yes having a different opinion is ok but being different from what is clearly prohibited and permitted is totally unacceptable, wrong and Sinful. If u wanna commit a sinful act why bother me to join u? U can belied human, but to Allah the All Wiser, He knows what's in ur heart. I seek protection from Allah toward an evil eyes and malicious heart. May He lends me a strength to stay patient and may He dispose the bitterness and my sadness toward ease.

#OhAllahMakeMeStrong

The end of holiday

The 8 days leave is almost end. Tomorrow I am going back to jeddah.. Sob sob sob.. Can't wait for another long leaves again. Lots of thing I haven't done... Well more like I didn't manage my time wisely.. Hahaha.. Can't blame me though..  I used almost every single day of my leave hanging out with my friends and family..and moggies not to forget.. Hehehe.. My flight is at 2050 tomorrow..hmmm.. May Allah protects my journey back to jeddah. Now weather is not really good..turbulence happens all the time I can say. InsyaAllah to Allah we seek protection, may He ease and smooth my flight tomorrow. Ameen.

Man and his ego

I dont get sometimes this kind of guy. When he said he is serious to get married and wanna get to know u better but didnt actually bother to exert enough efforts to make it works. I am not his subject of entertainment to occupy his boring day. He always being busy and had a hectic day. I am freaking busy as well. With my back to back working schedule, travelling places here and there I am moreee than hectic the he is claimed to be. But i do have time to text him to tell him my whereabouts, and even tried to make an effort to make a video call..it was always me who initiated an efforts to keep him updated..he can just read my messages without even bother to reply or even bother to apologise when he could not make it to online last night. I was the one who wide awake waiting for him to online while sipping my hot cappuccino. The consequences after could not resume sleeping was craving for foodss...dem..there goes another few kg gained that night!

I really dont get this man. He really has his unique way to make woman feel ‘appreciated’. I dont ask for ur money, i dont look on ur family background or even care how handsome u re, ur degree or what so ever..those material traits are not important to me. If i want money i have many guys that earn more than you. Even their salary is 5 times higher than u. I will be in clover for the rest of my life if I marry any of them. Though they are not as handsome as you, but who cares..money do can buy you diamond and new clothes right?

Unfortunately, my heart is not yearn for all of that. What i want from you is just you to perform prayer 5 times a day. Nothing more or less. I want husband that can lead me in pray. A husband that can admonishing me and help me to become a better servant of Him. That’s all i need. Money, beauty, education, status..are all temporary. None of that are matter to me. The outward is not important to me. What matters is my deen. My faith comes first. There is a Syariah boundary that I will not go beyond just to get you. I am not gonna chasing you if that is what you are up to. It is not because of repercussions of my ego but because my pride as a Muslimah that I choose to believe in my fate and accept the Qada’ and Qadar that have been written for me. If something is meant for me, it will not miss me, but if it is not than Alhamdulillah, Allah has a better plan for me.

I guess I am not a perfect match for you. I am pretty sure InsyaAllah, one day He will meet u up with your half of deen. And same goes to me as well. I know Allah has created one fine man for me. Even if it is not in this duniya, he is waiting for me in the Jannah. InsyaAllah.

KIPAS

If ‘kipas’ is a necessary skill to be learnt to survive then I prefer to being myself. I am not a hardcore people-pleaser. I dunno how to show a cute face just to be accepted, respected and appreciated. Soften my voice’s tone so it sounds sexier and graceful just because pll will form opinions as you speak..well what the h***.. eventually they talk anyway. I dont follow what ppl say, but rather I more fear what Allah say. Being gediks and manje2 are not what being taught in Islam. Be good at heart, and choose your words wisely. Let ur words be kind not because to please ppl but because ur fear to Allah. Be kind to ppl not because u want something in return but it is what Allah command every human being  to do. Accepting and adapting to changes doesnt mean you have to disservice urself by shapeshifting to be liked by all. Anthing that against ur faith u must not compromise at all. Ppl can passing judgement on you, but the Final Judgement is between you and Him. Remember my frens (and to me as well), this beautiful sunny day in duniyah is a temporary, u shouldnt work hard so much to please the duniyah in fact work extra harder to please Allah because in the end only Him that matters.  

Rindu Allah 100000000000..(infinite)%

Lamer nyer tak tulis blog nie..hehehe..what can i say..writing isnt my forte though I have so much things I would love to share here. Alhamdulillah yesterday was my second trip in performing umrah since I started work here. All praises due to Allah for His invitation and the smooth journey. The first trip when I performed the umrah with other staffs, the feeling was different. I guess that time I were so distracted with what happened before till I lost my focus. Astagfirullah Al Azim, Allah the Oft-forgiving may He forgives me for being so impatient towards His test. There were lots of thing going on and sometimes I feel like I have lost my touch and feel disconnected from Allah. The devil is trying to make me feel I was not being loved by Allah. I have to stay strong, Allah always love me..no matter what happens, whatever written for me is for the best. Allah knows the limit I can afford. He is testing me out of His mercy, love and bless. So everyday I will keep on telling myself, Hey dear heart..Allah cares about you so much, through trial He teaches you to stay strong..He wants u to be closed to Him, u shed ur tears inside and u made dua everyday, u recited Al Quran, You asked Him to dispose ur affairs towards comfort and ease.. U were astray, U lost and u stumbled but u refused to stop so u kept on walking hoping ull find the correct way back.. cant u see..how His love takes u back to the correct path?

Always remember HEART, u re never alone in this world. Allah is always there for u. He Loves u so much and He never abandoned you. U must have faith in Him. Put ur trust in Him, Tawakul MinAllah. With Allah Will, everything will turn out fine, InsyaAllah.

To my heart,
Imaan

Epi besday atuk!

Last week besday my uncle. So last nite we decided to celebrate him at Chef Zubri Wangsa's grill. Foods semua OK la, plating bertaraf 4 stars restaurant which worth it the price though portion is a bit small.. Tp name pon restaurant chef popular kan... Utk org biase cam aku nie dgn harga chicken dome yg aku mkn smlm bley beli 4 pinggan mee goreng mamak and teh ais. Maybe org selera kampung mcm aku nie kureng sikit kot. But my aunty ckp sedapppp!!! Heheehe.. Die selera bandar mmg mknan ala2 bertaraf hotel nie sesuai dgn tekak die. Bg aku yg simple ni even plain rice with fried mackerel pon aku dah rase sedap sgt.. Hahaha.. Epii besdayy atuk mia! May Allah protect and guide you to His righteous path. Ameen.

Pentadbiran Harta Pusaka

I just wanna share to u guys my experience as a wasi (executor) untuk harta pusaka my grandma. Untuk harta boleh alih contohnye cash yang kurang 600k takyah g mahkamah (tanpa wasiat) utk buat tuntutan. So can just directly pergi ker amanah raya utk surat kuasa. Dalam masa yang sama kene pergi ker Mahkamah Syariah juga untuk apply sijil faraid. But in my grandma case, she left behind tabung haji and ASB sahaja. My mistake was tak check dulu dgn tabung haji samade my grandma ade letak penama atau tak. So susah payah g Amanah Raya Berhad kt jalan melaka tuh just to find out actually I need to check first with tabung haji whether my grandma had named a beneficiaries. 

And turned out mmg ade beneficiaries pon..abeh boreh jo g ARB .. tp beneficiaries adalah sbgi pemegang amanah sahaja. Distribution of assets must follow the faraid rules. Unless every family member agrees to divide the money equally or give up their portion to someone else. Portion for son is twice from daughter. Since my grandma has sons which a stopper, so asset is distributed only to first layer which is to children only. But my advise sebelum nk g terjah tabung haji tuh email dulu kat help desk derang dulu. As for me I emailed them how the procedure to claim the pusaka. And if the beneficiaries are more than 1 do all of them need to be there. Can they go to different tabung haji branch at their place. So it did help me from unnecessary argument with the officer later on. 

So back to my grandma's acc..the tabung haji has 2 forms. One is JP005 and the other one is JP006. In my case, all the beneficiaries are the Faraid heirs but my Pak Long's name was not named as one of the beneficiaries. Therefore, we need to appoint 1 wasi (executor) to distribute the money according to faraid law. In our case my aunties and uncles all agree to appoint me as a wasi. So all the beneficiaries need to fill in the JP006 form to give consent to me for tabung haji to issue the cheque under my name solely. But before the beneficiaries could fill in the JP006, I need to come to tabung haji first to fill in form JP005 to open the file under my name as wasi. 

As for ASB because the amount is little so there is no need for my aunty to apply for the LA. Just fill in the borang tuntutan pusak, matikan stamp and amek cop commissioner of oath. She also got RM 200 as khairat kematian from PNB. 

So kesimpulannye, it is very important to write a will and appoint a trustee as your wasi to expedite those things. Yes we can just appoint a beneficiary to administrate our estate but please bear in mind our estate must be distributed according to Faraid law. All the fraction and distribution is come from Allah SWT and Sunnah. We do not have any say in it. It’s all fixed and no body can change it, we are obligated to follow it. Those are the rules by Allah SWT and Rasulullah SAW conveyed it to us. When Allah swt decides something we dont have a say. The wealth is just amanah from Allah. It needs to be distributed according to the command of Allah swt.  That is why estate planning is very important so you your assets can be distributed as you wish and not deny the faraid heirs' right. There are so many Islamic estate planning instruments that you can use such as hibah, trust, declaration of matrimonial assets and waqf. 

Is is a common thinking by ppl, the Islamic Law of Inheritance (i.e. Faraid) already determines a deceased person’s heirs as well as their respective shares. Why should they waste their time and money to have a Wasiat written? Faraid provides distribution of inheritance for legal Muslim heirs. Wasiat, i.e. the Islamic Will, allows for the distribution of one-third of a deceased’s estate to needy non-heirs. A testator may have some poor non-heirs or charities in mind.  Writing a Wasiat gives an opportunity for him to continuously receive rewards from Allah after death for his act of bequeathing part of his estate to some poor non-heirs or to charities and other Islamic purposes. Besides, it enables the testator to make it clear who he wants to act as the executor of his estate and the guardian for property of children if they are minors.

It is very important actually to have a will and appoint a trustee to be your executor. Reasons why it is better to appoint trustee instead of individual is a because individual is Humanbeing.. they have nafs (desire) and MAYBE they would not distribute the money according to the Faraid law or your will. Trustee they are governed by the trustee act and as an entity it has no desire like individual. 

So to those who are still havent written their will, i suggest for you to do so. It is critically crucial for those who still having a minor kids or incapable kids. Without a proper estate administration you will leave your legacy in haywire and this will make your heirs especially your spouse and kids suffer when they have to wait a long long longggg process liquidate the assets. Dont procrastinate your will, Mati itu PASTI tidak lewat walau sesat.. and only Allah knows when. As for us, we have to make sure every thing has been taking care before we leave this world permanently. Always remember in Islam, harta kekayaan adalah amanah pada kita, Allah entrusts it to us. So harta hendaklah digunakan dijalan yang halal. Bila kita mati, harta antara perkara yang akan ditanya, “Bagaimana dan di mana harta diperolehi dan digunakan”. Perkara yang sering dianggap remeh oleh Muslims tapi besar impaknya di akhirat kelak. Jangan kerana harta kita disekat dari memasuki syurga, dan jangan kerena harta kita dihumban ke neraka.
 

Rasulullah SAW said "‘It is not permissible for any Muslim who has something to Will to stay 2 nights without having his last Will and Testament written and kept ready with him." 

Kereta ooOo Kereta

Dugaan untuk bulan nie bile minyak hitam kereta plak bocor. Tuh pon lepas kakak aku btau lantai porch tuh ade kesan minyak itam..so mmg kompem la dr keter aku sbb keter aku yg parking kt situ..adoila..tak patut aku mengeluh, sepatutnye kena banyakkan istigfar. Musibah yg Allah beri mungkin aku belum nampak hikmahnye tapi Allah Maha Pengasih dan Maha Bijaksana pasti yang berlaku membawa rahmat yang aku tak jangka. Tapi biasela sebagai manusia biase yg iman masih bertateh bile masalah menimpa cepat benar hati resah. Macam-macam bende yg menerjah di kotak fikiran. Lately byk bende berlaku smpi kadang2 rase mcm tak mampu nk hadapi..yg nyata tu semua bisikan syaitan yg berjaya menghari biru kan hati aku. Syaitan nie mmg suker kalau manusia putus asa dari rahmat Allah, nati lagi mudah untuk die hasut buat benda2 yang Allah murka. Astagfirullah Al-Azim. Ya Allah, Ya Rabb Kau Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk ku. 

Ya Allah Ya RabbiYa Allah Ya RabbiYa Allah) Ya Allah jangan Kau coba akuMelebihi batas mampu dan sanggupkuYa Allah bila memang Kau cobaAku percaya Kau sayang padakuYa Allah jangan Kau coba akuMelebihi batas mampu dan sanggupkuYa Allah bila memang Kau cobaAku percaya Kau sayang padaku

Sejak akhir2 nie aku suke dgr lagu wali band Ya Allah nie. Nk ingatkan diri aku ape yg berlaku adalah tanda kasih sayang Allah pada aku, jadi aku kena yakin pada Allah, jgn mudah putus asa dan sentiasa tabah dan sabar.

Berbalik pade kes kereta aku nie, eceli dulu keter aku nie pernah kene minyak hitam bocor nie. Rasenye dlm 3 tahun lepas. Mase tuh keter aku bunyik macam engine lori..bobobotbotttt.. aku pun heran nape kuat beno bunyik engine aku ngalohkan bunyik engine lori balak jer. Pastu bawak ler g workshop. Smpi workshop mekanik tuh kater minyak itam aku bocor smpi kene timing belt.. pergh.. dgr timing belt jer mmg aku dan dpt rase aura duit berkepok2 melayang.. aku kene dlm rm800+ gak la utk tukar timing belt ngan repair minyak hitam bocor tuh.

Tu citer 3 thn lepas..2 bulan lepas aku baru jer tukar timing belt tuh sbb abg proton kater dah kritikal kene tuko..find..aku tuko je la drpd dier buat hal time aku drive sensorang takpe la aku sacrifice skit duit simpanan aku melayang rm1k+ (termasuk major service)..pastu sebulan kemudian keter aku bunyik kemain kuat..kali ni bukan bunyi engine lori tapi mcm bunyik jet pejuang pon ader. Time aku break nk slow down tu sebijik mcm bunyik kapal terbang boeing nak mendarat..siyes tak tipu (dr pengamatan deria pendengaran aku la).  Pastu anto balik g service centre proton..pastu die kater bearing ke amende tah..watever ler..aku bukan paham term2 keter nie..yg tuh melayang lg dlm rm400+...Hampir rm2k gak la aku abes dlm 2 bulan utk keter nie..Astagfirullah Al-Azim..barangsiapa yg beristigfar Allah bukakan pintu keluar dari kesulitan yang dihadapi..

Bukan rezeki aku duit tuh, takpe lah pasti ade rahmat yang tak mungkin akal seorang hamba dapat meneka. Aku serahkan pada Allah, semoga Allah permudahkan rezeki aku akan dtg. Iman bukanlah sekuat para solehin kadang2 tersasar jua keluh kesah bertanya kenapa dan mengapa..Astagfirullah.. nyata hati masih mentah untuk mentafsir redha dan tabah..Ya Allah Ya Rahman, pemilik segala kekuatan, pinjamkan ku sedikit ketabahan agar aku syukuri nikmat yg Kau beri. 

#abgProtonTolongChargeMurah

Ilaika

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOCgugMAovs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Ku rindui Dia

Kerna rindu padaNya kadangkala ku ingin pergi. Ku sgt rindukan kematian. Tp aku juga takut pada pedihnya seksaan kerna kurangnya amalan.

Lonesome train

Last Saturday was a day my beloved grandma started her journey to a new world. A world where wealth, power and status lost its value. Mati itu pasti, tak pernah sesaat dimungkiri. Nyata manusia la yg mengingkari janji pada Ilahi bila Redha Allah dipinggiri. Lalu bila tiba saat kembali sejadah yg kau biarkan usai tidak disentuhi, Al Quran yg kau biarkan sepi ; nyata kau adalah orang yg rugi. Mungkin aku jua golongan yg rugi. Ketika hayat nenek sedikit tentangnya ku ambil peduli. Selebihnya ku serah pada orang gaji. Cucu yg culas pd tanggungjawab kpd nenek nya mungkinkah ada kemaafan buat ku? I miss her so much.. Semoga roh wan dicucuri Rahmat ilahi.